9 Lives | Chapter 7 | Part 2: The New Story of Aging

The "Free Period" marks the beginning of the "third age," a time after menstruation has stopped. It's a time often accompanied by profound personal transformation. Biologically, post-menopause is heralded by the cessation of the menstrual cycle, a change that may happen suddenly or evolve over years. For most women in the West, this shift occurs around age 52, though it can vary from the early 40s to the mid-60s and may be induced surgically or chemically. Post-menopause, however, is an uninspiring term for what is often one of the most vibrant and creatively dynamic phases of life—hence, I prefer to call it the "free period." Women become not only free from monthly cycles but gain a freedom rich in new potential.

This life stage often coincides with other major transitions, such as children leaving home, marking the end of active child-rearing. Many women also experience a midlife reassessment, evaluating past choices and envisioning their future. For some, this period brings a degree of financial stability, enabling a sense of material comfort and relief from the demands of financial survival. We have likely developed resilience, having faced life’s adversities—loss, heartbreak, cycles of economic and political upheaval, and even personal challenges. This resilience fosters a deep inner strength and a quieter relationship with life’s alarmism. Women at this stage have often done significant self-work, resolving past traumas, and overcoming self-limiting patterns. They know themselves well, and this self-awareness becomes a powerful foundation for the free period.

This is a symbolic threshold. Just as adolescence marks the shift from girlhood to womanhood, and motherhood is marked by "matrescence," the transition to elderhood signifies a move toward wisdom. From matron to wisdom-keeper, women enter into what I call "sapiescence," a stage marked by self-possession and personal insight. This evolution, however, arrives as the body inevitably begins to show signs of wear—an irony captured by the phrase “youth is wasted on the young.” Sapiescence, though personal and unique, invites women to reflect on what no longer serves them and to consciously step into this new role with clarity and intention.

At this stage, there is frequently a juggling of the transition to empty nesting or navigating relationships with adult children, often while providing care for aging parents. Confronting a parent’s mortality brings many women face-to-face with their own impermanence, heightening the urgency to define their legacy and connection to life. This phase, with its complex demands, also invites women to draw from their deepest creative wells and to explore what Erik Erikson referred to as “generativity”—the capacity to create, contribute, and find fulfillment in giving back.

The free period offers a rare opportunity to move beyond externally imposed identities. For younger women, imagining themselves in a vibrant and empowered elderhood can transform anxieties about aging into anticipation. Envisioning oneself in this empowered third age can reduce fears and foster a sense of peace and confidence. Personally, I’ve found the free period to be the most fulfilling stage of my life in a female body, which was a surprise I never anticipated at 35. 

The new story of aging is creative, generative, neuroplastic, adventurous and  expansive. And there are definite ways of being that make that happy elderhood more likely.