Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Sex Therapist

Interviewing a potential therapist is an important step in finding someone who aligns with your needs and values. Here’s a comprehensive list of questions you can ask to evaluate whether a therapist is the right fit for you, specifically for addressing sexual health, intimacy, or relationship concerns:

Background and Credentials

1. What are your credentials, licenses, and certifications?

• (For example: Are you certified by AASECT or another reputable organization?)

2. How long have you been practicing, and how much of your practice focuses on sex therapy?

3. What is your training or specialization in sexual health or intimacy issues?

4. Do you have experience working with clients with concerns similar to mine?

5. Are you familiar with or open to [specific lifestyle, sexual orientation, or relationship model, e.g., polyamory, LGBTQ+, BDSM]?

Approach and Philosophy

6. How would you describe your approach to sex therapy?

• (For example: Is it somatic, cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, holistic, etc.?)

7. What is your perspective on the role of sexuality in overall well-being?

8. How do you address cultural or religious influences on sexuality?

9. Do you incorporate mindfulness, spirituality, or other non-traditional methods into your practice?

10. How do you handle situations where partners have differing levels of desire or compatibility?

Process and Structure

11. What does a typical session look like?

12. Do you give clients homework or exercises to practice between sessions?

13. How do you measure progress in therapy?

14. Do you work with individuals, couples, or groups, and which would you recommend for my situation?

15. If working with a couple, how do you balance the needs of both partners?

Comfort and Boundaries

16. How do you create a safe and nonjudgmental space for discussing sensitive topics?

17. What are your boundaries around physical contact in therapy?

18. Are you comfortable discussing [specific topic or concern you want to address]?

19. How do you handle situations where a client feels discomfort or resistance?

20. What is your policy if I feel we’re not a good fit?

Fees, Accessibility, and Logistics

21. What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?

22. Do you offer sliding-scale fees or payment plans?

23. Do you provide virtual therapy sessions, and are there any limitations with that format?

24. What is your cancellation or rescheduling policy?

25. Are there any additional costs for materials or resources you may recommend?

Specialized Concerns

26. What experience do you have in working with trauma survivors, if applicable to me?

27. How do you approach issues related to medical conditions affecting sexuality, such as hormonal imbalances or chronic pain?

28. Do you collaborate with other professionals, such as doctors or pelvic floor therapists, when needed?

29. How do you handle discussions around sexual orientation, gender identity, or non-conventional relationship structures?

30. What is your approach to integrating cultural or societal perspectives on sexuality into therapy?

Self-Reflection

31. Why did you choose to specialize in sex therapy?

32. What do you find most rewarding about your work?

33. How do you continue your education in this field?

34. Do you seek supervision or peer consultation for complex cases?

35. How do you ensure your own biases or beliefs don’t influence your work with clients?

Red Flags to Watch For

While interviewing, pay attention to:

• Evasiveness or lack of clear answers.

• Judgmental or dismissive attitudes.

• A lack of cultural competence or unwillingness to learn.

• Discomfort with topics you consider important.

• Over-promising quick results or guarantees of success.

Wrap-Up Questions

36. What questions do you have for me?

37. How soon can we start, and how often would you recommend sessions?

38. What can I do to prepare for our sessions?

These questions can help you ensure alignment with a therapist who meets your needs, aligns with your values, and provides a safe space for your growth and healing.

Shop what’s in this story

Arouse Stimulating Serum$45.00Shop → Honor — Everyday Vaginal Moisturizer & Intimate Balm for Dryness$90.00Shop → The Invitation Daily Love for Your Intimate Self$27.00Shop →

Frequently asked

What credentials should a qualified sex therapist have?

Look for a licensed mental health professional (such as an LCSW, LMFT, licensed psychologist, or licensed counselor) who has additional, specialized training in sexuality. The gold-standard credential is certification through AASECT (the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists), which requires advanced coursework, supervised clinical hours, and ongoing education. Ask directly about licenses, certifications, and how much of their practice focuses on sex therapy.

What is the difference between a sex therapist and a regular therapist?

A sex therapist is a licensed talk-therapy provider who has pursued dedicated training in human sexuality, intimacy, and relationship concerns. They create a safe, nonjudgmental space to address issues like desire differences, arousal, pain, or the emotional side of sexual health. Sex therapy is talk-based; therapists do not provide physical exams or medical treatment, and sessions never involve sexual contact.

Can a sex therapist treat medical causes of sexual problems?

No. Sex therapists address the psychological, emotional, and relational sides of sexual concerns, not physical or medical conditions. If a medical cause is possible, such as hormonal changes, vaginal dryness, or chronic pain, you may need to also see a gynecologist, urologist, or primary care provider. A good sex therapist will ask about your medical history and collaborate with other clinicians when needed.

How do I know if a sex therapist is the right fit for me?

Beyond credentials, notice how you feel in the conversation. A good fit means you feel heard, respected, and free of judgment, and the therapist answers your questions clearly rather than being evasive. Watch for red flags like dismissiveness, discomfort with topics important to you, or over-promising quick results. It is completely reasonable to interview more than one therapist before deciding.

References

1. AASECT Certified Sex Therapist— American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT)
2. Sex Therapist: What They Do and When To See One— Cleveland Clinic

Keep reading

• Understanding the Different Kinds of Sex Therapy →
• Obligatory Sex, Compassionate Sex, Fulfilling Sex: Finding the Optimal Connection →
• Opening the Body After Sexual Trauma →