Entering Our Soft Era. Fear-Certainty and Intuition Certainty. Stop Being Played.

What new space might we find if we let go of being right — and tuned in to what feels quietly true instead?

Dear Rosies,

I’ve been living in my Soft Era — and honestly, it feels so much better over here. In a Viagra world, soft is a choice. 

Yes, I put fuzzy rugs and a ridiculously pettable chair in my living room (no regrets), but I'm talking about something deeper. I've stopped carrying around so many hard opinions, so much make-wrong, so much judgment about everything and everyone. I've stepped off the exhausting merry-go-round of reacting to every craven media figure or agenda-driven headline designed to make me angry.

I no longer let other people’s manufactured outrage decide what I feel or who I’m supposed to hate today.

And you know what? On this side, my mind feels spacious. My body feels calm. My spirit has room to breathe. I’m softer but not weaker. The kind of strength that loves first, listens longer, and quietly changes the game without needing to win every argument.

And yes, there’s science behind this. When we loosen our grip on constant judgment and reactivity, our nervous systems regulate, our brains function better, we sleep more deeply, and we have more energy for what actually matters.

The world really does feel a little softer when you soften yourself. You change frequencies and the world responds. 

But how do you actually do it? Especially when you’re so sure you’re right?

Slow down in proportion to your reactivity! That moment when we feel completely certain — the spike of heat in my chest, the urge to fire off a reply — that’s my cue to pause.

I run a quick rhetorical check on whatever information just hit me: Who benefits from this framing? What am I being asked to feel? Why now? And most importantly — am I being played?

The subtle practice is learning to tell the difference between fear-certainty and intuition-certainty. Fear-certainty feels tight and urgent, like you must act right now or something terrible will happen. It comes with a side of righteous anger and a compulsion to argue.

Intuition-certainty, on the other hand, is quiet. Spacious. It doesn’t need to convince anyone. It just knows — without the drama.

When I catch myself in fear-certainty mode, I ask: “What am I afraid will happen if I’m wrong about this?” Most of the time, the answer reveals I’m defending something that doesn’t actually need defending.

And the most freeing realization? You don’t have to have an opinion about everything. You can just… not. You can say, “I don’t know enough about this yet.” Or, “This doesn’t really affect my life.” Or even, “I’m going to focus on what I can influence instead.”

If you’ve been feeling weighed down by the outrage machine, the need to be right, or the constant mental commentary, consider this your invitation to set it down.

The water’s warm here. Come on in.

With love,
Christine  Marie

LIving Tantra Starts Next Week!

6 weeks every Tuesday

While this course is not solely for women, there are a lot of women in the course, and this has a special place in my heart given our work with Rosebud. 

For a modern Western woman, classical Tantric teachings are potentially transformative and deliciously subversive. They invite an entirely different relationship with body, divinity, and our sense of freedom.  It's a path of radical participation, where purpose and pleasure are intermingled. For the modern Western woman, this path offers belonging to the cycles of life, to a vision of the world in which the feminine is honored, and to a community of practice that insists on both discernment and devotion. When a woman begins to live from this recognition, she doesn't just liberate herself, she becomes a presence of liberation for everyone around her, a walking reminder that we aren't separate from the sacred, that the world isn't fallen but alive with divine presence, and that freedom is found not in abandoning life but in falling madly, consciously in love with it.

Curious? Come learn more and join us.