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The Bedroom as a Temple

The Bedroom as a Temple

"There has to be a place in the home where love, human connection, and sensuality are the sole focus; a place of deep rest and sanctuary that feeds the inner sanctum of our lives, coupled or not. We make the bedroom a temple. Let everything in this space be conducive to rest, safety or pleasure.

Lighting is a big determinant of environmental restfulness. We like to have control over when and how the light gets into the space: throwing open the shades at dawn is nice, coupled with the option to stay buried deep in a Sunday morning slumbering darkness if desired. The kindest light to the skin is warm—rose or pink are best. If a candle is 1,000 Kelvin and the midday sun is 10,000 Kelvin, we like bedrooms to have options in the 2,500 Kelvin range. And we like layering light—task lights by the bed to read, and dimmers on the switches—because nothing in life is binary. We love the programmatic lighting options of Hue bulbs, where you can set your bedroom to the light of the Aurora Borealis, or a tropical golden hour, on demand.

Inquire into your sound design, also. Where can you contain external sound? How can you keep sound in, also, so that you have a safe space of vocal expression in your room? How can you add music? We like to have the most unobtrusive ambient speakers possible in our space. Subtle.

The temperature control of the room helps—even if you like to sleep at a crisp 64 degrees Fahrenheit, the naked human body relaxes at 77 degrees. So, while you’re romping, try adjusting the thermostat for more pleasure. Other things to look into: color science and the brain, the tactile pleasure of your chosen sheets and linens, the bed itself and how it feels on your back. You may want all of the pictures of your parents and kids in the living room, so they aren’t looking over your shoulder in intimate moments. Let this room be for another kind of love.

But the number one thing in making the bedroom a temple is to try not to bring the stress or conflict or the outside world into this space. Try not to pile bills up in here, or assignments or clutter. Consider closing the technology portals to the outside world by leaving devices and electronics outside the room. Make it sacred and beautiful, the place to care for yourself and your most intimate companions." 

The above is an excerpt from our new book, Reverence: Creating Ritual in Modern Life.