What are you waiting for? The Paradox and Intelligence of Desire. Advent.

Dear Rosies,

Happy December 1st! For many people in the Christian and Pagan traditions in the Northern Hemisphere, today begins the season of Advent. Traditionally, this is the season of waiting, of preparing the heart and hearth to receive the good news of the returning sun, the light in the body, and the hope of a promised better time ahead. It is the quiet before the crescendo, the inhale before the exhale. To live in Advent/Adventure is to exist in the space between longing and fulfillment, to feel both the ache of desire and the hope that what is longed for is already on its way. It teaches us that waiting is not passive; it is an act of devotion, a preparation for what is to come.

But waiting is not easy. In waiting we encounter the paradox of desire: it draws us toward something, while often leaving us with an ache for more. As we navigate the paradox of desire, we often discover that the fulfillment we seek is never as simple—or as complete—as we imagined.

Desire is a fundamental human experience, as essential to our existence as breath or thought. It propels us into action, fuels creativity, and gives meaning to our pursuits. Yet desire is also paradoxical. It can feel like a beacon guiding us toward our destiny, and at the same time, a trap that keeps us perpetually unsatisfied. Spiritual traditions approach desire in strikingly different ways, revealing its complex role in the human experience.

Desire as Suffering

In Buddhist teachings, desire (or tanha, often translated as craving or thirst) is seen as a root cause of suffering. It creates attachment—a clinging to outcomes, relationships, or material things—that ultimately leads to dissatisfaction. This framework encourages the practitioner to observe desire without attachment, to neither suppress it nor indulge it. Through practices such as meditation and mindfulness, one learns to dissolve the grip of desire, finding peace in detachment and equanimity.

However, the pursuit of detachment can sometimes lead to a spiritual coldness, an ungrounded sense of separation from the world. Without balance, detachment risks becoming indifference. The heart of Buddhism does not seek to eradicate desire entirely but to transcend the clinging that causes suffering. When misunderstood, this teaching can make life feel stripped of its vibrancy, as if the very longing that fuels human creativity and connection is something to be feared or subdued.

Desire as Creative Life Force

In tantra, desire is not a problem to be solved but a sacred energy to be embraced. Tantra views desire as shakti, the dynamic creative force that flows through all of life. Rather than avoiding or transcending desire, tantric teachings invite practitioners to lean into it, to explore its depths with awareness. Desire, in this view, is a pointer to life’s aliveness—a call to connect, create, and merge with the divine.

Desire is thus transformed into a tool for awakening.

Whether the longing is for intimacy, beauty, or expression, tantra asks: What lies beneath this yearning? What truth is it pointing you toward? By fully experiencing desire, without clinging or judgment, one taps into its raw energy and channels it into spiritual growth, creativity, and connection.

Unlike the detachment emphasized in Buddhism, tantra embraces embodiment. It acknowledges the sacredness of the physical, emotional, and spiritual realms, weaving them into a holistic view of human experience. In tantra, desire becomes a doorway to deeper truths, an energy that connects us to the pulse of life itself.

The Tension of Longing and Fulfillment

These differing approaches to desire illuminate its paradox. It is both the source of our suffering and the seed of our greatest creativity. It can unmoor us or anchor us more deeply in the present. The key lies in how we relate to it.

When we cling to desire, demanding it be fulfilled in a specific way, it often brings frustration and disconnection. But when we approach desire as a sacred signal—an invitation to explore the depths of our being—we can learn to hold it without being consumed by it.

This holding is not a suppression but a reverence, a willingness to let desire teach us rather than control us.

Advent offers a profound metaphor for this practice. To wait with intention is to sit with desire, not rushing to fulfill it but preparing for what it may reveal. In this waiting, we find that desire is less about obtaining an object or outcome and more about the transformation it calls forth within us.

The Beauty of the In-Between

The paradox of desire reminds us that life’s richness is not only found in its resolutions but in its tensions. To desire is to be alive, to feel the pull of something greater while standing firmly in the present. Whether seen through the lens of Buddhist detachment or tantric embrace, desire points us toward the essence of who we are.

Perhaps the truth lies in holding both perspectives: learning to let go of clinging while also welcoming desire as a force that animates and awakens. When we can do this, we find beauty not just in the longing or the fulfillment but in the in-between—the sacred space of becoming.

Your desire is a pointer to your purpose, path and mystery. You can desire with joy,  without making that ongoing joy dependent on the outcome.