Seeing Each Other As We Are Now
When people who rarely see each other gather, there’s a temptation to reminisce and drop into nostalgia, which can be fun, but nostalgia has a suboptimal side: sometimes it keeps people from seeing each other as they are right now, for who they have become. Nostalgia can lock us into old dynamics and into past identities, and leave little room for change. And, it’s usually based on incomplete or falsely recorded stories to begin with.
Higher Caliber Questions, Better Connections
What would it be like to meet your family and friends, or even yourself, for the first time, with fresh eyes. If you were meeting a stranger, you wouldn’t backmask* them, would you?
One way to come present with people is to notice, and then avoid, falling into habitual conversation patterns, by asking new questions. We pulled some cards from Lisa Rueff's interaction game Sparked, and learned a lot about who we had each become this year:
- What is something you’re optimistic about right now?
- What is a book or a teaching that influenced you heavily?
- Imagine yourself 5 years from now: Where are you and what are you doing?
Want more prompts? Sparked, along with her heart jewelry (“love made visible”) are available at her site. You can order anything off the site, including the game, with the code RoseWoman for a 20% community discount.
*Backmask, a neologism from author John Koenig, in the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: n. "The instinctive tendency to see someone as you knew them in their youth, a burned-in image of grass-stained knees, graffitied backpacks or handfuls of birthday cake superimposed on an adult with a degree, an illusion formed when someone opens the door to your emotional darkroom while the memory is still developing."